MY LIFE PATH, SO FAR.

I received this comment on my latest post.

Clearly, I took the chance to reply, and now, write a whole post about it.

It’s not so much that I’m upset, but rather that I want to use this to bring up a subject I care about.

Growing up, my passions were art, fashion and writing. The main thing about me is that I’ve always been a creative kid. I loved art, my drawings and paintings were often chosen to display and I felt like I had something I was really good at.

From very little, all I knew was that I wanted to have a job that would allow me to be creative, it didn’t matter what it was, as long as I could have fun experiencing with things, allowing my creative side to come out.

In middle school, when I had to pick to which high school to go to, I instantly knew art and fashion were the subjects I was drawn to. Although writing and Italian literature were something I was very good at, I still wanted to pursue art school. Unfortunately, back then, my parents thought that art would waste my talent for writing and languages in general. So I followed their suggestion and ended up picking something in the middle: tourism and economy. This means that my knowledge for subjects I wasn’t to keen for became something I just had to learn, leaving my main passions aside. I studied English, French and Spanish, and quickly enough I discovered something about myself: I loved speaking French, I had a talent for it, and I enjoyed learning a
bout the culture. I also enjoyed more and more things related to travel, which before never really crossed my mind. To this day, I get all excited when I get to plan a trip, and not just if it’s for me, but even for other people.

So by picking a school that wasn’t really the perfect match, I enlarged my interests and learnt things that I wouldn’t have if I only pursued art school. And after years, I am grateful for that. While in school, I hated it for the first few years, I wanted to change. But eventually I went through with it, and now traveling and speaking foreign languages is something that dominates my life.

The bad side of this is that I never had the chance to fully developed my true interests, on a professional level. All the things I make, just come from my own skills and knowledge, as I was never taught the basics.

This is why, after high school, I signed up for university, picking Art History. It was my chance to learn what I had been craving for so many years.

But I believe that wasn’t my path: that summer I met Felix. As you all know, my friend Daizo found his videos and shared them with me. We eventually met up after a few months; I remember him hitting 10’000 subscribers while visiting me in Italy.

At this point of my life I had two options:

1. Go for the “easy” road. I would go to school, get my degree, possibly move to Paris and work in the art field;
2. Give all that up and follow my instinct.

Not going to lie. After spending weeks thinking about it, I texted Felix saying I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t possibly risk everything for something I didn’t know how it would play out. I had an easy, clear life path ahead of me, and it seemed silly to let it go.

A few days after, the realisation came to me: I didn’t want to be afraid just because I didn’t know what to expect; I wanted that excitement in life, even if it was going to be harder.

And so I packed my bag, said goodbye to my family, my friends, my pets, my car and my “planned out life”. I bought a ticket to Sweden, without knowing for how long I would stay, and rented a tiny flat in Partille with Felix. The rent was very low, but seemed so high for us: he was only getting started on Youtube, I was leaving my CV everywhere I could while dog sitting lots of dogs at the craziest times of the day and night. It was difficult, but we were trying our best, and we were happy and grateful to be together.

The first Christmas approached. I met Felix parents for the first time, who gave us some money as a gift, which we decided to spend on Maya.

Right after that, I made the decision of opening my channel. I didn’t address the fact that I was Felix girlfriend in the beginning, because already then I didn’t want to just be associated with a person, especially if I didn’t do the same kind of thing. I wanted to simply have a corner where I could share things with people. Eventually I gave in and allowed Felix to be in my videos; he was a massive part of my life, and there was no way I could stay detached from it. Unfortunately this meant that since the very beginning, and probably for as long as I will be online, most people will really ever recognise me as “PewDiePie’s girlfriend”. Not that I mind covering that role, I just always wished that people would address me like any other person – for the individual I am.

I talked about this topic over and over, so I’m not going to stay on it for too long, although it always hurts to see how no matter what I achieve, completely on my own, I will always being associated to Felix and my success will be partly credited to him. Surely, I’m well aware that being who I am helped, and I am grateful for that, but I also believe that if people stick around is because of what I have to offer.

The saddest thing is that not only random people that came across my online profile act this way, but even big companies and the press only see me that way. They don’t focus on my potential, they focus on who I’m with. I had so many press interviews that were just trying to get a scoop or juicy details with my relationship with Felix. That’s all they care about, and it’s low to reach out to someone just so they can ask about somebody else.

The worse thing, recently, is how my book has been marketed, heavily pointing out how I’m PewDiePie’s girlfriend – when my book has absolutely nothing to do with it.

All of this to bring to attention how, no matter how hard I try, anything I achieve never seems to be credited to me, fully. And it’s exhausting. It’s almost as if I have to keep proving myself, showing that I’m just as good as any other person. If you compare me to other Youtubers, on a professional level, I always stick to my upload schedule, I always come up with ideas for my content, I have a clear voice and vision, I put as much effort as anyone else when it comes to putting together and editing a video. And that’s just a small part of what my job requires.

Do I excel in anything? No. But do I fail in anything? No.

I just do my best. I do what makes me happy.

You will never get top quality content from me. I’m not a perfectionist, I’m just a creative person. To me, this means that over having the perfect and most beautiful video out there, I prefer to constantly come up with new ideas and content.Creating is the keyword here. That’s what I love to do. Sometimes is raw, sometimes is polished; other times is silly, while others is meaningful. Anything that I’m feeling will translate in my videos, they don’t need to be the greatest masterpiece.

Because I’m not a masterpiece, I’m a work in progress. And I like to be this way, because that means I will never feel like I’ve reached everything I want, as I always have new interests and I keep growing as I learn.

I wouldn’t want to be great at something, because I prefer to be able to enjoy the many different aspects that life has to offer.

Society tells us that we need to study, find a job, make a living to support our families.

I had so many sleepless nights over this, because I never felt like I was the kind of person that could pick something specific when there is so much to learn, experience and love. When I go after something, that could be a writing a book, drawing a painting, filming a show, designing a collection… I do it for me. I don’t expect success and greatness, what I’m after is personal growth while achieving dreams and goals.

I’m extremely happy with all the decisions I made in my life; nothing ever come easy for anyone, but you can make the best out of each situation if you let your passions guide you and truly follow your heart. I regret nothing and I’m so glad life brought me so much joy, but I keep working hard and never take anything for granted. If my life is shaped the way it is, it’s thanks to the way I am. I could have easily taken a safer route, but taking a chance was such a better and more satisfying experience: now I not only get to work in the field of my dreams, but I don’t need to worry about picking a certain topic to focus on. I can travel, paint, write, film, edit, design and create anything I wish… all at the same time! And it’s certainly not to fall under a label, as most people think – it’s in fact the opposite. I want to be seen as more than just a writer, or a fashion designer.

I have more depth and layers than that, which a label wouldn’t capture.

Even if people push me to do something or be a certain way, and criticise me for “sliding” and not being able to pick a field to excel in, I’m completely okay with how I’m building my life and I’m looking forward to achieve new goals, as well as learning and experiencing as much as I can in life.

Don’t limit yourself to something you know because you are afraid that otherwise you won’t succeed. Don’t do something just because you are expected to from other people.

Enjoy the process of discovering yourself, it’s way more rewarding.

Marzia.

ART BY MELIX.

Let me tell you about this artsy project I have in mind…

About a month ago I started painting on canvas. Quickly after, I asked Felix if he wanted to paint with me as it could be a fun thing to do together; and so we did. We made 3 different paintings in the last month, and we enjoy making them very much: they are nothing incredible, but they are the result of two people with different art senses, coming together to create something unique. 

We wouldn’t need to have all these canvas in the house as most of our walls are already adorned, but I thought it could be cool to sell them and donate the money to charity.

I’m thinking Felix and I could create an account on Depop together – Art By Melix – where we could sell about 3 each month, and make it so that all the money is directly donated with every purchase. They wouldn’t be priced very high, so people could easily afford them, but anything we can donate to charity always makes a difference.

What do you think about this idea? I think it could work for a few reasons: Felix and I would get to be creative and have fun, while people could get a signed piece to hang in their room as well as helping others.

Here is painting number 1:

We layered multiple colours together by splashing them on the canvas, mixed with water. It’s messy and vibrant.

Here is painting number 2:

I took care of the background shading while Felix made the design on top. Here you can really tell how different our aesthetic is, but it can still look interesting when combined.

Here is painting number 3:

In this one I absolutely love the background, which reminds me of a beautiful sky. We wanted to keep the focus on that so we simply stamped our hands, slightly off-centered.

This is all we have for now, as painting requires some time and we have pretty busy schedules. But I want to get some feedback from you!

I don’t know yet when we will put these for sale, probably in May so that will give us a bit of time to work on new ones and figure out all the details. I also don’t know for how long and how regularly we can make these for, but we are definitely going to try our best!

SO. What do you think?

Also, I would love for you to help us name each painting! If some of these images spoke to you, let me know what they made you feel and how you would title them.

Marzia.

COCONUT COOKIES.

The most delicious cookies I’ve ever eaten!

Seriously, I’ve never wished so much to have a button on my laptop to share a cookie with you. These don’t look incredibly pretty, they seems like regular cookies… BUT THEY ARE AMAZING.

Today I found lots of dried coconut in one of the kitchen cupboards, so I wanted to use it up.

I googled some recipes, and I came across this one. Mine it’s slightly different, and turned out absolutely great, but if you want to stick to the original one, I’m sure that will be just as good!

These are the ingredients you need. Now let’s get into the tutorial!

1. Take a medium-sized bowl and pour the flour, a pinch of salt and baking soda all together.  Blend and move aside.
2. On a different bowl, place the softened butter and add in the icing sugar. Use a mixer to combine the two until slightly fluffy.
3. To that bowl, add an egg and mix everything together with a spoon.
4. Now you can add in the flour mix to the sugar mix.
5. Once you form a paste, add in half a teaspoon of vanilla flavouring, and a cup of dried coconut.
6. Divide the paste into tiny balls and place them on the baking tray (lined with oven paper), making sure you separate them enough as they will grow quite a lot while in the oven. Let them cook for about 8-10 minutes at 175*C. Don’t let them overcook: it might seem like they might need a little more, but as soon as the start to turn yellow-ish, get them out of the oven and let cool down for a few minutes.

You can now carefully remove them, sprinkle some coconut on top, and enjoy!

I really hope you will try this recipe as it was such a pleasant surprise, I’ve never baked anything more delicious. They are soft and chewy, and the taste is just incredible.

By the way, it took me about 30 minutes in total to make them and I was able to make 18 of them, but it really depends on how big/small you decide to make them.

If you do end up trying them, let me know if you liked them as much as I did!

Marzia.

TODAY'S MAKEUP.

Featuring the Sailor Moon eyeliner!

I got it while I was in Japan, and I couldn’t wait any longer to try it out.

In this post I’m going to go over the makeup I applied this morning, quickly, because I’ve been complimented a lot about the looks I’ve been wearing lately, especially when it comes to the saturated warm tones I apply on my eyes.

It’s not a professional tutorial with super amazing quality shots… I just felt like talking about some of the products I’ve been using  a lot in a more laid back way.

Here are all the products!

BASE

1. I started off with a primer, as usual. My skin has been peeling a bit, very tight and dry on the cheeks/mouth area but oily on the T-zone. I have no idea what primer could help with that, but I did select my Clinique one simply because it feels velvety on the skin and it helps with concealing redness, which I have quite a lot of in this period. It is not ideal if you have dry patches of skin, like I do, but unfortunately most of my primers are almost finished, so this had to do for today.
2. During the day time I don’t normally like to use a foundation, but rather a BB cream. My absolute favourite has always been the one from Holika Holika. It is very hydrating, which is something I definitely need right now; feels very light on the skin; and has pretty amazing coverage for being a BB cream.
3. To conceal any redness still showing through the primer and BB cream, I used a primer from Tarte. I love this brand, it’s definitely one of my favourites, and although I heard from my friend Emma amazing things about this concealer, and it does a good job at covering, I find it to be too thick for me, and I also think that there is too little product in the tube. When I bought mine, I thought I got a defective one, because it does look a bit different from what Emma has in terms of consistency, but I’m honestly not sure. Either way, I will use it all up anyway.

POWDERS

I definitely prefer using powder products while doing my contouring, because I do have oily skin and adding creams might just cause my makeup to melt away during the day. Not sure this would actually happen, because I never really tried, but still. Powders are a safer bet for me.

1. I start by powdering my T-zone to avoid becoming too shiny. I’ve been using the Rimmel one for ages, it’s the best one for me.
2. I then add in some warmth and definition by applying a bronzer. I know people say you should use a cool shade, but with my olive skin tone, a bronzer works just fine to give some definition to my face. I apply it on the sides of my forehead, cheeks, jawline and on the nose (but not really contouring it). The one I’m using lately is gorgeous, from Rosie for Autograph.
3. For my cheeks, I used a new product I was sent in the monthly Wantable box. It’s from the brand Doucce, and although the pigmentation is nice, it’s a bit too bright of a pink for my taste. But still, I wanted to give it a try and I now know to go light on this.

EYES

1. I started by framing my eyes. I selected a thin eyebrow pencil from Tarte, which has been my go-to lately, to fill in any gaps. I like this product because it’s very fine so you never risk to apply too much of it.
2. As a base for the eyes I went with the orange shade from the Velvet59 palette. I fell in love with a few colours in here that I always go back to. The colours are super intense and look absolutely stunning. So I used the orange one all over the lid, all the way into the corners of my eyes.
3. I then took a smaller brush and selected the red shade. I applied it lightly under my eyes, which is why if you look closely you will notice a bit of pink around them.
4. I softened both the shades by applying a bit of yellow pigment (from FaceBase) all over, focusing mostly on the inner corners of the eyes.
5. I then went it with the Sailor Moon eyeliner. The precision is incredible. If you are looking to get a perfect sharp line, this product is for you. I would not recommend it for beginners, as it took me some time to get used to and match both eyes (the product is extremely pigmented and goes on very smooth, so if you make even the slightest mistake, you will see it clearly). I have been using gel eyeliners for almost a year now, brown instead of black, so going back to black liquid eyeliners today was a bit challenging, but I have to say, I like the look of it. Very intense!
6. Finally, I curled my eyelashes and applied a few coats of mascara from the brand Sara Hill. I like this one a lot because it just adds darkness to the lashes, keeping them nicely separated between each other. I realised I prefer minimal eyelashes, rather than all clumpy and thick ones – if I do want a more dramatic effect, I will just add in falsies to the look instead. And this mascara has been great for that. Also, the applicator is bended and slim, so it makes it easier to get up there at the base of the lashes without getting the product everywhere.

And that’s it! I only added some lip butter, because I wanted to keep them natural and moisturised.

The skin around my mouth has been extremely dry lately. Any suggestions on what I could do?

I feel in the mood for some Sailor Moon, now! Marzia.

THE DAY I DROVE IN THE UK.

It finally came.

Random picture of me driving my old Mini British Open, back in the summer of 2011.

I absolutely love to drive, I find it to be relaxing and a wonderful way to admire the landscape. I used to drive for hours, while living in Italy, on my own, just so I could see new places and enjoy my time listening to some music while on the road.

I love road trips. I love driving for hours just to get to a place. I loveeverything about it.

I do realise most people hate that, but to me, it’s always such a pleasant experience.

I have lots of memories with my friend Daizo, of picking her up at her house, 40 minutes away from mine, driving all the way to Lake Garda; order food and eat it inside the car during one of hour road trips; leaving the roof open while it was raining in the summer; driving her home at 3am, when no cars where on the streets.

So peaceful

So driving a car is more than just owning a car, it’s something I enjoy to do, because of the adventures it might bring, and the memories it allows you to make.

And so when I moved to the UK, and everything was reversed, I was just too afraid of picking up a car. It broke my heart, for a long time. Most people told me “Well, you live in Brighton, you don’t really need a car” – which is true, and that’s what I kept telling myself to be somewhat okay with the idea of me not being able to do what I actually wanted to do.

Three years went by, and I just couldn’t take it anymore. I made it a point this month to take Felix car and drive.

I made him drive me to a parking lot, and from there I got accustomed to the car itself. When I felt more confident, I moved to a quiet neighbourhood.

At one point, one of my biggest fears while driving (other than crashing/ruining the car) became real: while on a crossing, it was my time to turn right, but because I was so nervous by seeing other cars waiting for me to make my move, I let the car die. Everybody was waiting for me, but my car turned off.

I had a moment of panic, but eventually got myself together, turned on the car, and moved away.

So that was a breaking point for me. One of the things I was so afraid of, actually happened, but I saw that I was able to get myself out of it instead of freezing. I did it. Sure, I was shacking, but it was also my first day driving, and from there things got better.

A few minutes after that little bump, I was ready to hit the bigger roads. It felt so good. I was driving, normally. I wasn’t so afraid anymore.

Of course, it will take me a few times to really be confident, but it’s such a big improvement from refusing to drive a car. I’m not letting that fear rule me anymore, I took control over it and that makes me proud.

I think the next step for me is to get a car for myself so I can start going on small adventures with my friends again. Now that the weather is getting better, I believe it would be the greatest time to do so.

Unfortunately the UK, being an island, doesn’t import all the cars I would love to own – mostly Japanese. My top pick has always been the Daihatsu Trevis.

JUST. LOOK. AT. IT.

Absolutely adorable. I was tempted to look into the Nissan S Cargo, because it’s so quirky, but I decided to stop myself from doing that.

There is one car that I do really like, the Nissan Figaro – which is available on the British market and totally reminds me of this cartoon from Disney.

I even tweeted a few years ago saying how I would love to own it, but being an older model (1990) I’m afraid it won’t be as great in the city for an almost-everyday use. I think it’s more of a collectable car you show off during the weekends. And since I had my experience with older cars, breaking down in the middle of nowhere during a storm, or just having lots of problems in general, this time I should stick with “new-generation” cars.

So I’m left with more traditional cars, like Minis, Smarts and 500s if I want to pick a tiny car. Felix has a Mini, so I’m thinking about getting a used Fiat 500. What do you think? Do you have any suggestions for small cars I could look into, available in the UK?

I’m so excited about getting back on the road!

Marzia.

ACCESSORIES.

Time to sort them out!

MY OUTFIT // Dress: Olive Clothing (similar)

Once every few months you will be looking for one of your rings, a bracelet… any kind of accessory, and realise that the way you are storing them is not ideal. Not because you didn’t try, but because, eventually, these beautiful things decide to tangle all together into a giant mess.

That’s okay. It happens to everybody. But today I felt the need to organise mine a bit better.

Let’s start out with necklaces – the worst of all. They are usually delicate, which means that if they tie all together and you want to pull one out, you must be extremely careful.

I tackled this problem by sorting mine out in 3 different groups, so there is absolutely no way that they will get lost or break. I took the rigid ones and hang them on my vanity mirror, on the side. This way they embellish it, and are easy to reach without taking up storage anywhere.

Then I took out of the group the very thin/dainty ones, that I knew I had to be particularly careful with: I put them all in a pretty box, laid out nicely. That way, as long as I don’t move it around too much, they will stay as I left them

And at this point I was only left with thicker chains, that wouldn’t normally tangle that easily. You will see how I stored those later, together with the rest of the accessories I’m going to show you.

Now it’s time for bracelets. They are smaller, easier to store. I put the thinner ones, stackable ones and more intricate ones into 3 different pouches; just so I can find them quickly when in need.

Then there is rings. You can’t really go too wrong with them, luckily!

I just keep them all together, not really on this hand (I used it to display some for you), but do place some there when I remove them overnight if I know I will be wearing them again the day after.

Next in the list: earrings. I don’t own too many of these, actually. I used to lovewearing them, but for some reasons I haven’t been wearing them often at all in the past few years.

I used to have lot of piercings all over my ears, but now if I do wear some earrings, I stick with regular ones. I wonder why!

Anyway, I find that the best way to store them is to keep the paper/plastic cut-out they came in. Sometimes I forget, but I try to save them if they do come with one.

And finally there is pins! My collection is slowly growing, it makes me so happy. I keep them all together in a pouch, just so I know exactly where to find them.

And so this is how I store everything together, except for some necklaces I showed earlier and some of the jewellery I never take off (which didn’t appear in this post – sorry about that).

As you can see I keep all the different items in a glass box with different compartments: the bigger one is for the necklaces that won’t tangle easily; the one on the right is for bracelets; the one in the middle for rings; and the one on the left is for earrings.

So this is all I have, and I like to see it all organised for once! You probably noticed that I prefer golden over silver; what do you usually go for? Do you have any tips for storing accessories?

Of course, if you spot something you like between my little collection, feel free to ask me about it and I will do my best to let you know where I got it from!

Have fun organising, Marzia.

A SPECIAL DATE.

As every Saturday, it’s time for a date… but this one, has a little surprise!

Before I reveal it, let me just summarise my day for you (although you might already know what it is about from Instagram).

This morning I signed copies of my book, packed them and then I did a short photoshoot for a human-size cutout my publisher asked for. Only 3 days left till it comes out internationally!

IF you are from Canada, USA or UK, you can enter a giveaway here.

If you read my book, or you already have, you will get my outfit choice

But anyway, after finishing up with book related stuff, my day was free.

Felix and I had planned to go to the centre, where most shops are, as he has been wanting to do some shopping – and of course, I didn’t complain about it.

We ate at Chopstix, as usual, and then wandered around The Lanes. I stopped by two cool shops: the first one, Snoopers Paradise, is one of my absolute favourites as they carry so much random vintage/second-hand items, and I was lucky enough to find an oversized sweater with turtle neck for just £10!

Then we went to another shop, Family Store, which we never checked out before but had a bunch of cool pins and patches – very happy about entering it!

The weather suddenly changed from sunny and warm to slightly rainy and cloudy, so before going back home, I saw that the Bubble Tea place I love (Pearls) had a new Nutella inspired drink. NUTELLA. INSPIRED.

Of course I had to try it… but unfortunately I disliked it! >.<

But hey, at least I gave it a chance.

Once home, Felix came to me with a gift: he bought me a dainty golden ring, absolutely stunning!

I should specify that this is not an engagement ring, just to avoid any misunderstanding. But that doesn’t take away from how happy it made me to receive it, it was such a sweet thing for him to do.

Also, just in case you are curious, here is the stuff I bought today!

But that’s it! It’s dinner time now and we originally wanted to go watch Cloverfield 2, but Felix is napping so I don’t want to bother him. Instead I’m going to cook a nice warm meal, make a fire and watch Netflix (hopefully the scent of food will wake him up).

What are you up to this weekend?

Have fun, Marzia.